A Desperate Love Letter

  Hey [redacted],

I know things are really tough for you right now, and I don’t want to make things harder for you. But I’ve been carrying a lot of hurt and frustration with our relationship, and I can’t hide it anymore. The truth is, I don’t feel loved by you anymore. 

 I’ve been feeling like I’m doing everything at home—taking care of the cooking, cleaning, food orders, and the other little things that keep the household running. And honestly, I don’t feel appreciated for it. I only put back half of the mess from the kitchen spraying, expecting you to help with the other half – but it’s still all in the spare room. You got frustrated at the mess once, but it’s not only MY responsibility or MY apartment. I do so much of these little invisible chores already that don’t even go noticed or appreciated, I can’t imagine how hard things would be for me if we had children. 

All of this has been weighing on me, and I feel invisible. I’m giving so much of myself to make your life easier, but I’m not getting support or affection in return. It’s not just about the chores—it’s about feeling like I’m the only one putting in effort. It’s also the lack of affection, the little things that made me feel cared for—like being kissed hello and goodbye, or you doing things for me without me asking. I miss that. I miss feeling like I mattered to you, and I don’t feel that way anymore. I haven’t left the apartment since November 10th—did you even notice? Being asked for sex after feeling ignored for weeks made my skin crawl. I’m not a sex doll, I’m supposed to be a partner in a relationship. I’m tired of having to cry and beg you to spend one meaningful day a month with me. I’m tired of having this same fight every few months, we plan one thing and then nothing changes. I want to be here for you, but I also need to feel seen and loved. It’s been hard for me to carry this on my own, feeling like I have no one to turn to for emotional support, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing it without feeling like I matter. 

 I know things with your dad are weighing on you, but I also need to express how I’m feeling, because my needs matter too. I’m not asking for everything to be perfect, but I need to feel loved and appreciated. Right now, it feels like I’m invisible, and that’s not how I want to feel in a relationship. I’ve been putting in a lot of effort, and I need to see that effort returned in meaningful ways. 

 I know you have a lot on your plate, and I’m not trying to add to your stress. But I also don’t want to keep feeling like I’m not important. I need things to change between us so I don’t feel invisible anymore. I need to feel like my needs matter in this relationship as much as yours do. 

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