Feeling kinda … okay?

 I couldn’t help but to go to counselling with a bit of a panic brewing inside me. It doesn’t help that it’s a cold, gray, windy and rainy day, and I hated every second of the long walk to the university. But I surprised myself by talking a lot about my past week – I think I surprised my counsellor, too. I told her about the Waterford (I downplayed the suicidal ideation parts because I truly feel crazy and I don’t want people to be on eggshells around me) and she agreed with me that the experience sounded awful and invalidating. That really meant a lot to me. I told her that I had a good week but I now feel that I need medication, and she helped me draft an approach for asking my doctor to explore medication options for me.

Next week we are going to work on building self esteem and making connections with people. And you know what? I’m kind of looking forward to it. I hope it will help me. But more importantly, I feel like it can. Finally.

Author: undiagnoseddiary

I write about my ongoing struggles with mental illness. I hope my anonymity lends itself to honesty so that someone else who is struggling can see that they are not alone. View all posts by undiagnoseddiary