I got Medication!

Last week, my counsellor helped me write out everything that I wanted to say to my Doctor about needing antidepressant medication. Today, I called to make an appointment – and they were able to fit me in just an hour later. Talking to my doctor was intimidating and incredibly scary – until I actually did it. Then, it was easy. She talked me through the common side effects, asked me what my most common symptoms were, and prescribed something to me right then and there. I go back in two weeks to see how I’m doing on it. As I write this I am waiting for the pharmacy to fill my prescription. I feel like I’m walking on sunshine, I’m so relieved and excited. This is the opposite of how I almost always feel, and how I felt thinking about needing to take medication. But if this can help me, then that’s wonderful.

I told the doctor that my mood swings sometimes got out of control, like a switch being flicked and suddenly I am not in control of myself anymore. It’s part of the reason I worry that I have undiagnosed BPD. But she assured me that the right medication would help control that as well. So here’s hoping I can finally get a new lease on life. I know I’ll probably struggle with this for the rest of my life, and I know that it’ll probably never feel for me the way I want it to. But if it helps even a little, that’s what I need right now. Between medication and my DBT exercises, I’m really hoping for a miracle.

I’m just worried about the fallout if I can’t find something that works out.

Author: undiagnoseddiary

I write about my ongoing struggles with mental illness. I hope my anonymity lends itself to honesty so that someone else who is struggling can see that they are not alone. View all posts by undiagnoseddiary